Right! so i haven’t been on here for a couple of days now, the reason being, i’ve tried to keep my evenings busy. So, a few things have happened in the last couple of days, most of which were really good! i’ll just get on with it.
I’m back at my grandparents now. feeling a lot more comfortable than when i was at my mums. not saying being at my mums was a bad thing, i just feel better when i’m nearer to home. i did used to live with my grandparents so i do feel like its sort of a home away from home. i’m eating o.k at the moment. i’m actually not eating all the time even though i want to (darn medication), but i am eating sort of three meals a day. lovely chicken pie tonight. i got a little weird half way through, but i got over that quickly. I’m glad because it shows my logic has the better of my illness. one giant leap for Tom-kind!
I went out Saturday night. it was a friends birthday, and i really wanted to go. obviously there were things stopping me. i got really anxious in the lead up to going out. asking all those questions ‘what if i’m the only one that goes and in alone?’ ‘what if everyone just ignores me?’ ‘what if i make a fool of myself?!?!?!’. the list goes on. In the end it all went well. I decided I would drink, which i think was a good move. i felt as though i fitted in really well. in fact I drunk a lot. we had a ball of a time. and i was really glad to see most of my friends. I don’t want to lose these friends, they are the only ones i have got, and of course, my good friend WordPress! so in conclusion, all went very well.
I had a terrible nights sleep after my night out. mainly because my head was spinning. i ended up getting up really early, which i was o.k with because the Olympics is now on (well done Jenny Jones!), so i got up and watched that. yesterday was just a relaxing day. winter Olympics all day, and laying about on the sofa, so not much to say. I did however get over 15 hours sleep last night to make up for that nights bad sleep.
i did want to go to the shops today but my anxiety is stopping me. really feel like i’m going to make a fool of my self. My worry of people judging me is also stuck in my head as well. I don’t want people looking at me. as much as my hood bring up helps me, I worry about people judging me for having my hood up. viscous cycle! I did today however go and see my nephew which was great. He looks so grown up already, and he’s only 10 days old! He does like to cry a lot though. I want one, I don’t care about the nappy changing, the crying and the sleepless nights, I really want one. But hey, I have to get a life first, and I have to find Mrs Right!
Well, that’s enough now, actually just put myself down a bit.