Yes, i know, i’m a slacker. i don’t know how many days it has been since i last wrote on my blog, but here i am, back again! So, i’ll write about what i’ve been up to the last few days (don’t worry, its not a lot) and try and make it sound interesting.
So, the winter Olympics is on the television, so i have been doing a lot of watching. even though team GB aren’t doing great, however that could all change in the next couple of days with the curling and the speed skating. so i’m really looking forward to the last few days of this wonderful event. It does get me a little bit motivated mentally because i want to do what they are doing, and in my head i’m thinking of ways to exercise (not that i would do any right now) and how I might get back in shape. it wont be any of the winter Olympic sports, not unless moaning about bad weather was a sport, and even then I would probably come about sixty millionth after every other Brit. See, sometimes i can be funny! i try my hardest.
talking about trying my hardest, i’ve been trying to do stuff in the last few days. I went out a couple of nights ago for dinner around my uncles, and someone there had a very very big personality. now people with big personalities scare me because they are the ones more likely to say something reactive to what i say. i tried to put on a happy face, i tried to join in conversation, but really the only main conversation i talked about was medication because it came up in conversation (i didn’t bring it up!). It went……o.k, nothing more, nothing less, just ok. I think im going to have to put myself in these situations more. oooo oooo oooooo, i wore my hood down, in fact i didn’t even wear a hood, i was completely hoodless, and i managed, so on that level i suppose the evening was a success. I’m still very wary about wearing my hood up, so since then i’ve worn it up since. You never know, i might wear it down again soon. fingers crossed anyway.
i also went sea fishing last night. i went with my sister because i’ve lost my fishing buddy (brother-in-law) to my brand new nephew. We had a good time i would say. my sister enjoyed it and i did too. we caught well, but left early because my sister was getting cold. im not suprised to be honest, it was horrid wind. so that’s another accomplishment from the last few days. going out again. Although, there was a couple of moments last night where my psychosis kicked in. There was one guy that came up to me and just started talking for ages, he seemed a bit unusual, and i was worried he was going to kill me. of course he didn’t, and looking back it seems unlikely that he would. there was also another guy that was hanging around for aaaages near us. i was worried he was going to jump the barrier and commit suicide. this bought up bad memories because it was the sea that i chose as my final resting place. well there you go. ive mentioned my torrid time of suicide, i feel very uneasy now, and i sharn’t say any more on the matter……….for now.
one other unusual thing that’s been happening to me lately, is i keep seeing random things out of the same window in the house. it’s all sort of out the corner of my eye. i see something, and then when i look properly its gone. i know what i’m seeing, and its not good. i could really do without it because if i get worse i’m worried this will become more prominent, and may not be just out of the corner of my eye. unusually though its always out of the same window. maybe i should shut the blinds or something, maybe that will help.
ive also been thinking about something else the last couple of days, and that is moving out of where i live (don’t worry guys i live with, its not completely serious, but i am thinking about it) and moving into a house that i think has just been vacated by my fathers next door neighbours. i think it may be up for rent soon and i would really like to move in there. it sounds strange i know, living next door to my father, however! it will give me my independence while at the same time having a sanctuary just next door if i need some security. It would be nice.
anyway, i’m off now. i will not go for as long this time as i don’t want to miss out on writing posts. i know it helps me, and i hope it helps you!