i’m going to finish off what i was writing about yesterday because i need to get it out of my system, then i can stop thinking so much about things.
Right. i fel like im letting everyone down at the moment. i do feel like such a failure. not being able to work means im worthless. i think working is such an important thing for someone who isnt in education, and now im one of those people who isnt working. i feel like im a disappointment to the family, to my friends, and to everyone really. I also feel everything i do at the moment isnt good enough. i went out last night and i couldn’t manage to stay out. im 25! i should be staying out really late! what on earth do my friends think of me?! i feel like im not a good enough friend. what on earth am i coming to when i cant even be a friend to people?! as you may well think, this really upsets me. i wish i was better as a person, i feel like a complete waist of space at the moment.
anyway! depression really set in today. i started crying for no reason. i was just upset, and this was for no particular reason. my mood has got so low that i just start crying. this is step one in a major downfall for me. and i think i’m going back to work soon! HA! i doubt it! but we’ll see.
I haven’t really got much else to say tonight. i hope you enjoyed my singing from yesterday post.
i’m now off to watch a programme about Norfolk. brillo! maybe this will lighten my mood.