i want to tell the world.

Monday, Monday, Monday. Yes, the beginning of another week and i’ve already got two days off from work. I could get used to this, but the idea is not to get used to it. yes another week of my phased return to work. even more plans for moving, and only the worry is that i could get ill again (which is a good thing!).

So, i was back at work again today and all is well. I’m glad i’m on a phased return because after today at work i was absolutely knackered! I’m going slow, not jumping into anything, so at the moment i’m still just getting to know my fellow workers. i have been talking to one guy in the team specifically and he seems like an ace guy. He is just very grounded which is brilliant seeing as he’s sort of my mentor back into the workplace. I am suprised however that no one has asked why i was off sick. Last time i was off ill, when i came back people were asking me all the time! My new manager was told by a previous manager of mine that he had to warn people of me. I took that a lot lighter than i thought i would. i think he was just saying that to protect me more than anything. I don’t mind telling people, its not that bigger deal, however someone might react the wrong way, hopefully not though, i think most people now days are open to mental health issues, mine are just quite extreme. ohhhh well, i almost want to just get it out in the open, maybe i’ll Facebook it, then people will see.

Anyway, onto other things. Just over a month until i move! i cant wait, and i think a lot of people around me are excited as well. i thought on one side of my family it would be a bit more unwelcome because i’m moving next door to my dads house, but it seems not. i asked my mum today and she said she was excited and that its a good move for me. its nice to know that my mum is thinking about what is best for me. my parents are divorced, that’s why i thought it might be a bit of a dilemma, however, my mum doesn’t have to visit him, just me! I’m planning curtain buying in the next couple of days. never bought curtains before. i did the measuring up yesterday and im ready to get them now. i never thought i’d be so excited about buying curtains! I’m thinking dark red.

So, the only worry in my life at the moment is one that is always around, and that is that i could get worse at any moment. i try not to think about it but its hard when i’ve just been through a really tough time with my psychosis. It’s not exactly like a broken leg, things can just get worse again. i don’t think i’ll ever heal, i don’t know if anyone has ever fully healed from mental illness like mine. i just don’t want to be the person in the family that has to live off of other people. i don’t think anyone ever wants to be that person, but it happens. 

Right im now going to put a notification on Facebook just announcing my psychosis.

See ya!



2 thoughts on “i want to tell the world.

  1. I don’t really have the right to be, but I’m proud of you Tom. Putting yourself first…BEST of luck with the announcement


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