well, i was back to work today after a couple of days off. Went in, and everyone was very nice. didn’t really get to talk to my manager who was back from sickness. i would like to talk to him more because i think i could be an integral part of his team in the future. I want to rush back into work as well. i want to help people at work, i want to be doing my job the same amount of days as everyone else, with the same amount of hours. I do really like my job and i think this is a problem because i know i’ve got to take it slow, but its hard. Had some good chats with a couple of people from my team about cars n such which was good. Back to work tomorrow again, then off to the shops! in the afternoon!
So, all i need to buy now is furniture for my living room. got to buy sofas, a coffee table, tv stand and i really want a relining chair because i’m coincidently, a lazy boy! Off to the wonderful city of Norwich tomorrow to order most of this stuff. I love shopping in Norwich, heck, i just love Norwich, but obviously not enough to live there. but never the less, i am going to make some lovely purchases tomorrow! YAY! I know i say it every day, but i’m really looking forward to moving. its less than a month now!
I went over to my fathers this evening. i had to leave early because things were getting a bit noisy. i mean, i expect it, its a house filled with a family, and there are bound to be arguments and worried and stuff. I just cant cope with it, so i just left. I felt a little bad because i think they made some dinner for me, but i had already eaten anyway. i do still get anxious, i don’t think its a big problem, everybody gets anxious sometimes, mine might be a bit more regular but still i know i’m not alone. plus my dad is a bit of a moaner so i expect it from him. i do love him though like a son should love his father.
Got family coming over to my grandparents this weekend for that oh so wonderful occasion of ‘mothers day’. to be honest i don’t really celebrate it. i tell my mum i love her most times i speak to her, and i think she knows i love her anyway. however, it well be nice to see the family. its not often i get to see the family i see, and they are all pretty cool as well and i am pretty sure i will have a good time. i might drink some alcohol this weekend because of the visit, even though i have horrible side effects. boooo side effects!
ive now been 5 weeks severe psychosis free, nearly 6 weeks. this is good! i think it means its gone for the best part now. people are now getting the courage to ask me how i am without the worry of them upsetting me. When i’m ill i don’t like people asking me how i am because i don’t want to lie and just tell them i’m fine when i’m not, so its a good thing that people feel comfortable enough to ask me how i am. i haven’t had any really severe cases of depression either which is good, just the odd bit of anxiety here and there. i can cope with what its dishing out at the moment so all is pretty good. I still haven’t heard from Mr X so i don’t know what he’s doing. i would like to talk to him because i just want to have a little chat about my anxiety just to get that sorted out. other than that i’m fine!
I’m off now. big day tomorrow, just remembered iv’e got to pick up my meds in the morning. i haven’t had a full day of doing stuff in ages! Go me!