I don’t really know how to start this blog. i’m not even sure what i’m going to write, so i’m just going to go for it and see what comes of it.
there are a couple of things that i am worrying about at the moment, and i’m not really telling anyone. I’m loving living on my own but i’m lonely. i don’t mean lonely as in i wish i was living with housemates, living on my own is great, i love my own space and its brilliant to do what you want in your own space. i’m lonely because i don’t feel as though i have someone to confide in. i don’t have anyone i can tell about everything. I’m now really missing not having a girlfriend. not only for me to confide in someone, but to have a bit more purpose in life. i like to worry about people, i like to comfort and help people, but i’m getting none of this. i miss it a lot and i want it to change. this sort of leads me on to something else i want to talk about.
I’m unhappy with my weight. i know, there are a lot of people that worry about their weight, but i think my weight may be stopping me from getting a girlfriend. i wish i had the body i had three years ago. saying that, i didn’t have a girlfriend then either. i suppose i’ve had my chances but perhaps i haven’t taken them. i just think my weight is a contributing factor. i just have no get up and go when it comes to losing weight. i worry about my illness too much to worry about anything else. i don’t want to sound like one of those people that blame their illness on their weight, but my medications side effect is weight gain which isn’t great. it means i have to go for another blood test to check to see if i have diabetes. i wish i could really do something about my weight. maybe i’ll just wake up one day and it’ll all be gone! I WISH!
on a more positive note i went shopping yesterday. i do like shopping. i know i’m not supposed to because i’m a bloke, but i really do like it. spent ages just walking around the shops looking at everything. i ended up buying some shorts and some t-shirts. yes, because i reckon summer may well be here! my signal that summer is here is seeing swifts in the sky. one of the best birds, and they come when the weather is right.
I’ve got a real big test on Saturday night as well. i’m going out and i’m not drinking. coke for me all night! sometimes i really do want a drink, but i just remind myself just how bad i get if i do drink. hopefully it wont be a problem this weekend, we’ll see. I’ve also got a trip out on Sunday to a pub, and i’ve even made myself designated driver!
one thing i would like to ask other people who write blogs, even Facebook statuses. do you get emotional writing what you do? i always get emotional when i write my blog. i think its because i write about stuff i don’t tell people face to face. i hope my blog helps people around me understand whats going on with me because i’m not a massive personality. i don’t talk about stuff. i don’t talk very much to be honest.
anyway, this is me for today. bit of a moan, and i bit of shopping. Cheerio!