So, im having another terrible day. gutted Tom! i need to sort myself out. i have got a couple of things to talk about today though. but ill start with anxiety.
ive been terrible with anxiety today. we had someone over to help us with the dog and i couldnt cope at all! i didnt know what to do with myself. it reminded me of an episode of ‘how i met your mother’, when marshall doesnt know what to do with his hands. i didnt know what to do with the whole of my body. i could tell that she could see there was something wrong with me as well. she kept looking at me disapprovingly. its not ncie to feel these things. i am really anxious about going to a party on saturday as well. its going to have people i know there, but i can guarantee there will be people i dont know as well. im anxious enough around people i do know!!! whats really horrible is i get anxious around people i live with! i cant cope sometimes! and now is one of those times. yes i just had an anxiety attack. i think i held it in quite well, my chests hurts now though. oh well. just part of it all really isnt it.
let me get onto my second thing. accumulation of friends with serious mental health issues. im really good at this it seems. my most recent was quite unusual, because for the first time i didnt tell the person i had a problem, he asked me! he could tell. now thats definitly a person who can tell when there is someone with a similar issue. i can usually spot mental health a mile away as well, but with this guy, nope! then he tells me, and yep, there it is, like a blindfold has been taken off me just for that person. my best friend also has the same psychological problems as me as well! diagnosed the same! im going to see him soon i hope. i now live 100 miles away from him, which is a pain in the arse. we keep in contact with each other online though. it will be good to see him, and the others that i will hopefully see as well. i really hope im well enough to go out to see them, and i hope they are well enough to come out to see me too! ohhh dear. im sure in one way or another we are all messed up. this is just my baggage! i wish i didnt have it though. ive got a bloody airports worth of baggage it feels.
what else is going on as well…………..not a lot really.
im going now!