fingers to keys for the first time in a while!

Hi! sorry i havent been on here i na while. ive been on holiday (and recovering from my holiday).

So, i went to the isle of skye in scotland which was amazing. i only had two panic attacks, and ok, they were quite serious, but only two while i was in a whole new place, talking to strangers, and doing the strangest things (for me anyway). right, where to start…….ok, so i climbed a mountain, nearly to the top, then i had my first panic attack. climbing a snowy mountain, not good for people with mental health conditions like mine! where on earth was my second, ah yes! i thought my uncle was going to kill me. i was walking around a forest, it was silent, no one anywhere, you could hear a pin drop (or a tree fall…….lol). so these were pretty serious, but i managed them!!! im so happy that i had managed them, even though at the time i was scared for my life.i even managed to be in a car wityh someone else driving for nearly 2000 miles! now i am a bad passenger when it comes to cars (i wont even get on a train or plane, maybe not even a bus), i freak out completely, and hate hate hate it, but alas, i managed. but other than this stuff my holiday was good! good beer, good food, amazing views, and aloooooot of walking!

other than this i havent been too bad. ive been quite anxious recently. im pretty sure ive got agorophobia (not sure if thats how you spell it). i find it very difficult to get out of the house, which is why today has been such an achievement! i went out to meet up with a wellbeing group in the nearby town. there were only two of us there, but i got to talk to someone about my illness, who also suffers from mental health issues. this was really good for me. i got home after and felt really good, and then built a barbeque (sort of, well, its not finished yet). i do have a feeling i talked about myself a bit too much, but i couldnt help it, ive never had the opportunity to do this, unless its to a professional. i also got to find out a little bit about bi-polar as well. it sounds horrible, but a bit fun, but only in a bad way if that makes any sense, the same way my illness can be like ecstacy, its never good, but it feels good! anyway, i think im going to go again, even though i was really nervous today.

well, im going to stop writing now. i hope i write on here some more soon.

talk to you later!

tarra!

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