right, its not often i get on my high horse, but something thats really been bugging me over the last……………….year, i’d say a year, is facebook memes. these are pictures with so called ‘philosophical’ bullshit written infront of them. there is one person in this world that posts them all the time, and they get shared around the world, and a few of my friends share his specific ones. now, i havent got an issue with all of them, but some of them really really dishearten me. im flicking through my phone (oh and this is isnt a stab at anyone specific, just a small rant by me) and the first one is only two, yes thaqts right, TWO! posts down. ‘believe in yourself’ (oh just quickly youll reaslise a theme in a little while to do with posisitivity and my illness), yeah, i’d like to see the day i do that, how about………’one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day’. again, i’d love to know if that works. i dont get positive thoughts when i wake up, i always wake up anxious. classic one, very simply ‘be positive’. No, i just cant find it in me most of the time. well i could go on and on. people dont understand these are really difficult for me to read, and i imagine im not alone as well. these ‘positive’ themed memes only put me down further, because i can neveer achieve what these things are asking me to achieve. rant over.
well, its mental health week this week, as i stated in yesterdays post, and i thought i would carry the theme on by reading some news out to you all! Magic mushrooms seem to be a depression killer according to some little place called imperial college london. a small study was done on 12 people to see the effects of magic mushrooms on them, and the results had lasting effects! (these effects by the way were the effects of no depression). it didnt work for all of them, but for the majority, yes it did. now, ive never self medicated for my illness, i’ve always got prescription drugs from the good old doc, but i would be intregued to know how this works. from what i can work out, its not just like…….a chemical balancer (not sure if thats a word), but more or less what people take the drugs for……….hallucinations! the mystical….ness of it seems to help! hmmmm, maybe one day ill be cooking up some mushrooms and i will be healed from depression! however, the study didnt really state about people with psychosis, i mean i hallucinate anyway and its not nice, not nice at all. i think it might even get worse if i did mushrooms, and thats the last thing i want. anyway, ive decided actually it might actually be a disaster for me, but for those with regular depression, hopefully…..hey presto!
im also at home alone today, which i always hate. i walk around the house doing nothing for hours, just waiting for someone to come home, then realise they dont want to do anything because theyve had a long day at work. yes, i could go out, but i cant because of my illness. or maybe i could find something in the house thats constructive!…………if i had the energy. so i sit here, bored, but the world is my oyster (sounds like another one of those memes!), yet i cant do anything. im essentially under house arrest, arrested by my illness and am now doomed to live (pretty much, and i say pretty much because i actually went out friday) inside these four walls. ive definitely mastered the art of twiddling my thumbs, i will say!
anyway, i’ll leave you with a meme. i’ve got the perfectly horrible one for the end of this post.
sorry for dissapointing you weird picture writing thing, but i am anything but happy.