Falling away.

i almost reached my state of………well i dont know the word, but i almost reached the stage where my mind goes blank, i lose control of my senses. its dangerous because i cant talk to anyone, i cant focus on anything, only after a little while of it i can use the rest of my energy to tell someone, do something, and then i slip back into it again. i love the feeling though (even though i loathe it as well) because i dont think, i dont worry, i may even spend the whole time smiling when im like it. this is a big negative (technical term) symptom of my psychosis. i havent yet experienced the positive symptoms, ie, hallucinations, voices etc… i mean at least with thew positive symptoms i can cry, i can run away, i can close my eyes and try and get rid of the pain. i cannot however do this is with my negative symptoms. ohhhh well. slipping ever closer to the bottom.

my thoughts today have been bad as well. they’ve gone from worrying that other people are going to die, to worrying about my own life. this is bad obviously. ive tried to occupy my mind by doing stuff, but this hasnt really worked. i dont really know what else to do in these situations, and i dont often ask this, but……..suggestions anyone??? (on here, or on facebook).

right people. im going to go now. i think im going to try and occupy my mind again.

buh bye!


2 thoughts on “Falling away.

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