i thought id write another one of these today, as i have stuff to say i guess. im starting something that i hope to pursue for a while now (and ill need a while as well) because im going to try and lose some weight. i am currently……….i dont know how much i weigh actually, ill just go weigh myself. ok, the scales are broken (no, i didnt break them) but im a big guy. maybe weighing myself isnt the best thing to do. ok, so im not the best when vit comes to exercising, but i think i can lose weight on a better diet. ive got some help from my dad, who knows a bit about this stuff, and ill keep working at it, and ill let you know how im getting on.
ive got more bubbles as well now. well, ive got one more bubble thanks to a friend. i can go over to his quite a lot, and i can just chill out there. its all good. i wanted to get as many bubbles as possible and this is one to add to my list. i suppose when i get enough bubbles i can just forget about bubbles and just go out like usual, like normal people do.
one thing that is bugging me is that i havent seen my support worker for a while now, and when i say a while, i mean weeks and weeks. ive no idea where hes gone. he did tell me at the beginning that he wasnt permanant, but i did think he would give me some warningwhen he would disappear, but nothing. i mean, i have been coping alright without any help, but help will always help of course.
so, what been going on with my mental health recently? i was seeing ‘frank’ for a while, but hes gone for now. i had a go at him, properly shouted at him and it seemed to have worked. he hasnt come back since, and i havent beenb scared of him coming back either. as i said in my previous post ive had a few panic attacks recently, two in one day which wasnt fun, and i did manage to get over them. saying that, panic attacks havent killed me so why are they going to now? except when i have them it feels like im going to die one way or another. i think my schizoaffective disorder is quite calm at the moment, well, the psychosis part of it is calm anyway. i mean, i hope it doesnt arrive anytime soon.
so, things are quite good at the moment. i can focus on something other than my illness (losing weight) and im opening up my spaces to go, and my illness isnt getting the most of me. things are ok.
ill leave it at that i think.