ive spent the last twenty-four hours at my sister and brother-inlaw’s house. I needed to get away sort of. I was going to be alone today if I stayed at home, so I decided to get J to pick me up. pretty much as son as I got in his car I felt better. not great, but better. I was a little more chatty, and livened up a bit. I woke up early…………maybe too early, because I slept this afternoon for a couple of hours I think. ive also been taking care of my niece and nephew. I say taking care…….more like just giving them attention, and playing games with them. ive been occupied, and ive even cracked a smile a couple of times today. I’m very tired now though. I don’t have much energy. ive been worrying that things at home haven’t been going well, and worrying if that is my fault as well. to be honest though, I havent had too much time to think today. I did go out at one point as well, which was good for me at the moment. I did get anxious while I was in the supermarket, but I was pretty much just in and out.
I go back home tomorrow morning. I’m looking forward to it I think. I suppose with my illness, I know whats good for me, so I know when I need to get away, even if it is for a day and a half. I can also see when I’m getting bad, which is very good. the only problem I really have is managing bad situations. I’m terrible once I get anxious or depressed. I am more working on preventative measures for this, but sometimes it just gets on top of you, and that’s where my meds should take control………..which they don’t. I have just increased my meds because of the terrible time ive been having, but I have decided that the support ive got as a result of the other day has been terrible. all it has done has kicked my support worker into shape, and has actually turned up after 4/5 weeks of not seeing me. I was expecting more support, after all, the thoughts I was having are pretty much the lowest thoughts you can have. oh well, I suppose I should just get what I’m given and be thankful ive actually got help, after all not everyone does have the help.
well, I’m going now. going to have a chat with my brother in-law, and then get some sleep. early start tomorrow morning.