Ive wandered back to the lake today. I decided it was too nice to see again, and it was quite a late night last night so I diddnt really want to go far. I started talking to a couple at the bar last night. I don’t think I was spoiling their valentines night, well……I hope not. I had a lot of different conversations with them, however the one thing that really surprises me is that people with mental health problems somehow manage to pick each other out to talk to, even when the room is full of other people. Its odd, but nice. There is one member of staff who is pretty cool as well, kind, warm, and just nice I suppose. I also suppose they may be like that because its their job, maybe im a real arse! I think you can tell when someone is being genuine though, however I’ve definitely fallen foul of that trick in the past. Thanks bad memories!!! Anyway, im going tomorrow so none of this actually matters.
Last night I did have one of those dreams where you really hope that it didn’t actually happen when you wake up. I often think im a sleepwalker but no ones told me, they just take me back to my bed and then never tell me what happened. It would be weird if I was a sleep walker and it was kept quiet. I could potentially be living the most embarrassing life in the world (already up for debate) and I don’t even know about it! Anyway, I woke up with a sore head because I banged my head on some beer, and alas, three hours later I am writing these words.
To be honest, I think I might have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. My mood has been a bit dodgey and ive been doing more thinking this morning than I have in the last few days put together. Im a bit worried about the sort of impression of myself im giving off because my own very good knowledge of how odd I am. I also have another question for myself…..ive been writing my blog for four years (on and off), venting frustrations and sharing my challenges, and sometimes just going off on one, but by writing this blog am I hiding behind the words I type? Do I do it so I don’t have to talk face to face about my problems? Currently I think no, this is because one of the side reasons for writing this blog was to help people understand what was going on in my head. I hope that when people would read my latest post they would have time to digest the information and then come at me with questions and comments. This has happened infrequently from people close to me, but happens more regularly for those not close to me, overall I felt I failed a little at that part of the reason, so I just carried on writing it for myself and if others want to read whats going on in here *points to head*, they can!
Back to the lake……. It was defrosted today but the same culprits from yesterday were still here. There is no little wren squarking in front of me today though, just the noise of some long tailed tits and a great tit in the distance.
Ooo errr, the weather looks like its going to get really bad, time to find shelter.
I also found out today that my photo walk from the other day was on some prestigious trail to something called the ‘white horse’, sounds a little game of thronesie (uhh, yes spellcheck, thronesie is a word in my eyes!), but what it actually is, is one of those chalk meural things on the side of the moor and this one looks over a large valley. Some local walkers today me this. If I had carried on walking for another two miles I would have come across it. Oh well, I will look it up on t’internet when I get back to my room (back at room, haven’t looked it up). Im sure that will be the same as seeing it in real life!!!! Hmmmm………..
Im now currently hiding behind a tree from some rather adverse weather, im thinking I might just head back towards the warmth. I will talk later when I next decide to stop and write!