So, ive gone away for a few days. Im currently at the Fairfax arms in north Yorkshire, and its lovely! I just had my dinner and ive had a few drinks, and everything is merry. The people here are really nice and my room is massive (way more than I can afford, but who cares?!). ive managed not to call anyone yet (amy, don’t say anything) and hopefully I can keep it like that for the rest of the week. I highly doubt I will because I rely heavily on talking to people about my problems, but you never know, my week might not have any problems!pretty sure my bed is as big as my bedroom at home, and I also hve more storage than I do at home as well. Do people live in these rooms? They are huge!
My head I a bit silly t the moment and that’s why I decided to go away for a few days. I decided on Friday that I would (its Monday now), and ive booked it. Im already realising a few things about myself while im on my own in a palce I don’t know, the first thing ive learnt is that im not that comfortable around people my own age. I don’t know wbhy, maybe its because ive had bad experiences with people my own age, or maybe I just worry that they know whats going on, and maybe they can relate because we are a similar age. I really don’t want people knowing whats going on in my head, that would be scary. Its enough that I think people influence my life, I would hate it if they knew what I was thinking as well!
Had a little look around the village im staying in, and its lovely. They have a miniature railway here. I say miniature, its actually over a very large area, you just cant ride on it. That’s at the village hall, you don’t have to pay to see it, its just here. Im going to go an visit a few places while im here. I fancy going to the local castle to see what that looks like, they have some castle ruins here as well which sound pretty cool. Tyhey also have a falconry centre close by as well. I love birds, and my favourite bird is the peregrine falcon, s I really like birds of prey. I think that about two days worth of stuff, but im thinking I could find some other stuff to do as well. I want to go to the middle of the moors. I think going to somewhere so quiet will be ace. I want to just hear nothing, see nothing but open expanses of nothingness, and just breathe in air that hasn’t got anything horrible in it.
I seem to already have made a friend here, A really nice guy called D. He has had a lot of experiences, and has made some money in that time (thinking about it, I met this guy in a pub, so maybe these are tall tails, who knows) and hes recommended a few palces to go. Apparently there is a hall nearby that’s really nice, and the local churches are really nice as well. I went in this villages church today and its wonderful. Its full of local history, it has tombs in it, and the stained glass windows are so evocative, they remind me of the times I see amazing stained glass on tv. Im going to try and soak in as much of the local atmosphere as possible as well. I want to feel local while im here, and I want people to feel as though im local here as well.
The drive up was a bit of a nightmare. There were people running around on the motorway which wasn’t great, I got caught up in loads of traffic because of an accident as well, however by the time igot there, there was just grit on the road and a lot of bits of bumper all over the road. I did nto appreciate how cold it was when I left this morning either. Im not one for driving in freezing conditions. You can leave it as late as possible to hope it isn’t freezing, but it was. It warmed up as I went on my way, but as I got closer to here it started to get below freezing again. This renminds me, I was told they are expecting snow tonight. I might wake up in the morning to a layer of white stuff on the ground. Hopefully it’s a lot, but maybe not, after all, I want to go out tomorrow,sort of don’t want to be stuck inside, and I don’t think my car would take on these hills in the snow very well. Oh well. I can always go for a more local walk. The countryside looks amazing, and I found a footpath into the middle of nowhere today, so might walk that. Exciting!!!
Anyway, I ought to go really. Ive had a few to drink and im writing loads. I really hope I sleep tonight, I need it, I know that for sure!
Oh, im also starting my new medication. Well I started it a few days ago, but I get to my max dose this week. Its ok, I only have to take five tablets a day. That’s not many compared to what I have taken in the past. I guess im lucky in that repect, its just not fair that in 29 and I have to take tablets for the rest of my life. I actually remember saying that when I was 21, but hey, they are supposed to make me better. It hasn’t worked so far, but you never know, these ones might work (even though one of them is for something I don’t even suffer from).
Ive written quite a lot it seems. What I mgoing to do is im going to put this all on a blog over a couple of days (or more) when I get back home, then everyone can not read it, in stead of me not reading it back and just writing it instead.