when a doctor doesnt listen to an issue its quite difficult to make them know what is going to happen to yourself. my skin is getting worse and worse by the day. i went to the doctors a couple of weeks ago to talk about this issue and the doctor prescribed ‘stuff’ that would clear it up. i told the doctor that both of thing things prescribed hurt when i used them and neither of them had worked for me in the past. the doctor insisted that was the correct treatment for me. i cant tell a doctor it isnt can i? i also stated that the problem would get worse and they said nothing about this, while at the same i tried to purvey that this was going to be a bad issue, not interested. i also stated that i was having some problematic thoughts about it as well, paranoid thoughts. the doctor handed me a print out of my problem and told me that i shouldnt be paranoid and the the paperwork would help.
how he thought it would help is beyond me, all it had was the condition name on it and the general solution to it. i am worried about cause, not what the problem is called and what they think should be the right way with dealing with it. this doctors appointment was probably my most difficult. doctors who dont listen arent doing their job very well as far as im concerned. now my condition is worse, my paranoid thoughts have stayed, the prescribed ‘stuff’ hasnt worked and im going to have to go back to the doctors again to get this properly sorted. i will just say i will not be seeing that doctor again, they were clueless as to how to ‘doctor’ when it came to this. i think im around thirty appointments in the last three months now, this is horrific for me, cant be good for the doctors. i feel like i am taking up their time, my time, and to be going to the doctors so frequently is terrible for my mental health. im not happy about it at all because my next appointment could have been avoided.
anyway………..i havent got plans for today, i actually slept until rather late (i woke up inn the afternoon) because i didnt go to sleep until about five in the morning. this was not something that i decided. i knew i was going to be staying up late due to some football on the tv, i didnt plan on staying awake for over three hours afterwards. so my plans are zero, i did mention yesterday that i would do some baking but i dont really fancy it. i woke up with low motivation which wasnt great, and it hasnt really improved. all i can think now is that in two and a half hours my day will probably become more difficult than it already is.
i do know that yesterday i kept hearing my phone ringing. my phone wasnt actually ringing but i could constantly hear it ringing in different rooms in the house, sometimes incredibly loudly and sometimes quietly, it was very annoying. i think this is a new thing my brain has decided to do, it was frustrating, scary at times, and got my paranoid thoughts flowing. oh well.
guess thats all for today, ill talk on here again tomorrow, for my benefit, not yours, but you are more than welcome to read my boring life story.