i think its probably time i found something fun in my life. i know im treating my life like a job, and it is, that doesnt mean i cant have fun. some people like their jobs, right? the beach is a lovely thing that i will try and do often, but thats more a relaxation thing, i perhaps need something to give me some motivation that isnt just problem solving, i need my own thing to blow off some steam. that hobby will happen soon, i just need it to find me.
i didnt mention my volunteering earlier, mainly because i havent had an update. all i still know is that ive responded to an email and hopefully ill be on a first aid course by the end of this coming week. i think by the beginning of April i will be volunteering, and ill be doing it often. im excited for this, and i think stuff could happen from here-on in in regards to positivity. sure, i have to do all of this on my own, but other than being given a very shaky foundation by others, i can work on making that foundation more stable and then building on it. i can do it, i know i can. big changes always work in my life, and putting myself out work ‘work’ is a big change form the last three years.
all of these things are going to help my mental health no end. distraction from my paranoia, easing into society to reduce my anxiety, and some genuine positive steps to reduce depression. these three things are the foundation of my mental health problems, if i can combat these, the other issues will fall away.
im not going to write any more now, i imagine ill write tomorrow…………sorry.