my post earlier was because something got me thinking about what its like being a guy with mental health issues. i thought i’d write something about it because i saw an article in the news about it and seeing as im a guy who has mental health issues i thought id write a bit. i even got it posted on a mental health website, thats why it was written properly instead of my normal mash up of stuff. im going to write my normal mash up of stuff now.
obviously i went to the beach again today. the weather was NOT good. very rainy and windy, but i didnt let it stop me walking for over half an hour. ive got to clear my head in the morning, ready for all the rubbish that goes into it during the day. i suppose im just getting rid of yesterdays baggage to a degree. its nice though, i saw a little puppy on a walk which just melted my heart as it wagged its tailed and jumped up to my knee height. i would say that something wasnt right with my walk today, maybe it was the weather, maybe it was my mind, i dont know, it just wasnt right. i sort of wanted to get it over and done with near the end. i would have liked to have done some writing while i was there today but the weather wouldnt allow that. hopefully tomorrow will be different, well, actually it will be different, im going to be walking with someone. i might sit and write while chatting to them tomorrow. we’ll see.
i had to fill in some forms for volunteering today which is good. i got them posted almost as soon as i received them. i cant wait to get back out and start to make a difference to my beloved countryside, and also make a difference to me, both physically and mentally. i did have to write on the form that i had schizo-affective disorder which is a bit annoying, i’d rather tell someone in person rather than on a form. i dont want people to paint a premature picture of what that means im going to be like. oh well. i did however find a cool tin lunchbox for my days out in the wilds, its an old christmas smelly set packaging, it looks cool though, and it doesnt have any fragrance names on it which is even better. im getting everything ready!
i found my ‘lunch box’ while i was tidying my room today. my room really needed a tidy, and i also found a load of clothes that i’ve been keeping for years. they havent fitted me for year and i promised myself that i would at least fit into those clothes again one day. sure, they arent for the slimmest people in the world, but they are for someone a lot slimmer than i was. i think im getting there and i should be able to wear them all by the summer time i reckon. as i said before, my plan is not to lose weight but instead to gain a better lifestyle, if weight-loss is a part of that then its a massive bonus, im happy with the better lifestyle though.
thats all im going to write today. i actually feel a bit less down today. positive? not quite there yet, but im managing to move things in the right direction, we’ll see how the next few weeks go, you never know, i might not have to fake some of my positivity on here (yes, most of the positive things i write on here are forced) and they might become genuinely good posts, writing wise, and reading wise!