i tell you what, when you find music you really appreciate things become a lot easier in life, it sings the right things to you.
while i was at home i thought id reach for the pen and paper and do some writing. ive never written while in this house though, we’ll see how it goes.
this afternoon i actually did something thinking about what sort of future relationship id like to be in. i came to some obscure? conclusions and im unsure whether they are selfish or not, so lets find out!
firstly, im really not the sort of person who likes to draw attention to myself in society, my mental health issues being a big reason for this obviously. i think being in a relationship where i can play a minor role outside of the two of us would be ideal. i dont really want to be the talker on social places, or the person who is the attention grabber in the relationship. is this selfish? i dont know. i would also like a relationship where i can relate my mental health issues with the other person. i dont mean in a professional way, not even in a way that the other person has to have the same issues, just where she knows and ‘gets’ it all, perhaps just knows what to say and knows what to do. im pretty sure everyone wants this sort of compatible aspect in a relationship though, no matter the issue. obviously i would like to share interests with this person, someone who i feel comfortable in any situation with. actually, that last bit reminds me that the person would have to give me time. i know i dont want to rush things with anyone, not a psychiatrist, no family member, or any situation im in for that matter. but hey, you never know, sometimes the moment takes you places you dont expect. i hope all of this will happen for me one day. i dont think im ready for anything like this right now, the future is a good thing to think about though, especially for me, i just know im in no rush.
hope is important for anyone in life. sometimes i cant see it, sometimes i can, now is a time where i can see it. i can see past next week, i can even see positivity into next month. sure, there are things i doubt will go my way but i can also see things that will. this volunteering opportunity is giving me added opportunity to break down more obstacles, small and large! i can see a future, not sure if its good in the long run but for now im happy looking a month ahead.