‘I don’t know what to say…..’ the most common mental health response i get.

so, i had a very short discussion with someone last night about mental health. this person told me they didnt know what to say when it came to mental health problems. as someone who suffers from mental health issues i see many many articles about how its important to talk about mental health, and this isnt just those who suffer who need to be talking. this makes it difficult for me to understand the difficulties people have when it comes to discussing it. i always seeing encouragement for people to talk and people just arent because they say they dont know what to say, i struggle with all of this.

now, im not criticizing anyone who doesnt know what to say but i do want to understand why they dont know what to say. for all the years ive tried to encourage people to talk about it, it seems ive got no where, so what can change? what can we do as sufferers to help those who dont suffer?, how can we encourage them to talk? i know it would be very handy for me to have open conversations about it all with people who dont suffer, in fact i want to encourage it, it helps me no end, and those who arent suffering might learn something.

what i do know is that there would have to be a shift in society for all the talk of mental health to change. i dont think people realise but actually its discussed all the time, its discussed derogatorily. i know that this weekend it had been used in an insensitive way at least four times, this is just saturday and sunday. now, i dont have a qualm with this because its how society talks, for instance people who say ‘oh my god’ but dont believe in god, or use gay as a response for something going wrong. people just do it, and to shift away form this would be enormous, humongous in fact! i know you cant look at everything seriously all the time, in fact i love to be daft, it gets on peoples nerves, but its important to not give an actual care to something serious for a little while, but after you’ve done being daft there is a time to start being serious, theres a time where you should have conversations.

if someone came up to me and said ‘i didnt know suicide is the leading killer of men under 45, thats awful’ i would be over the moon! this would be amazing, its a conversation, a serious one about mental health, we can talk about various things related to this, we can talk a little more in depth and ask some questions. im not asking for a burden for people to carry, there is no further responsibility to any of this, but its good to talk. however, when you say something is sooooo boring you could hang yourself, i’ll let that slide, its not great, but it can slide for now. just in the future this would have to change, sure its a horrid reminder of my past but thats society.

baby steps are important when talking about something, but to not say anything is no step anywhere, in fact it could lead to backward steps. i do wish there was some momentum in talking about mental health more widely and not just those who suffer being the ones to talk, talking, after all is one of the best ways of helping someone with mental health, and talking about problems is a big part of that.

discussions dont have to be probing, they can be general, i guess these are examples….

what number of people suffer?

what are common issues for a sufferer?

what types are there?

what help is out there?

can i help?

i like to look things up, perhaps look things up with a friend or family member who suffers, pay an interest, not just to them, but to the cause, it’ll mean a lot for discussing mental health issues.


5 thoughts on “‘I don’t know what to say…..’ the most common mental health response i get.

  1. I relate to this. Sometimes I get a simple answer that doesn’t help calm me down in any sense. I admit, it makes me feel invalid and very very very regretful for opening up to this person and i would end up thinking about it all night regretting it. Sometimes though, i don’t want them to say anything. I just want them to listen to me and just let me know they are 🙂


  2. When I share, I don’t necessarily need someone to say anything. I think that may be part of the pressure? They think we need an “appropriate and helpful” response. Truth is, just hearing what I have to say means a lot. And asking questions too! It’s okay to not know what to say I think…but the conversation shouldn’t end there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think with myself I struggle when I do ask a general question so I can get my head around life a bit and I don’t get any answer other than a simple yes or no, my questions generally aren’t closed ones. However, sometimes I just need an ear to hear what I’m saying.


      1. Ah, yeah… it can be frustrating to get a simple answer that doesn’t fuel conversation.
        I think it is hard for others to simply listen without offering a solution. They may feel helpless if they don’t say anything but by simply listening they have helped immensely!

        Liked by 1 person

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