so, im back in the place where i live now, just relaxing and writing this before i make some dinner, it will be an easy ‘meal’ im sure.
i think the last few days have been good for me because i managed to kick back and relax a bit. just little things like time away, cooking something i love, walking, and general niceness help me a lot. right now im on a good path to getting somewhere better, hopefully ill just be able to stay there. it will take less work once im there, but i should be able to manage with a little help from others.
i realised today that if something bugs me i keep quiet about it. i noticed this because something today really got to me and i started talking about it in quite a stand-offish way. the thing is, this thing that annoyed me today is something that annoys me many times a day and has annoyed me more over the last few months because of its frequency, interrupting me mid sentence to discuss something else. this is annoying! in the last few months i havent really been able to have many conversations because of this, it frustrates the hell out of me because it feels like im not being listened to. today i decided to speak out and took the person by shock when i mentioned it. i think i was too forward with my displeasure because i never mentioned it before even though its happened hundreds if not thousands of times in the last few months, but i kept quiet. it all built up today and i expressed my displeasure at this time. i do this with other things as well until they get on top of me. i know i cant change a persons personality or any of their bad traits (you really cant, people are stubborn in their ways) but i dont want to be the person who always moans when something happens thats annoying, and if someone always does it even after youve mentioned it its a lost game, but i have to look after myself, when im not being listened to i have to step in and say ‘can you listen please’ or something nicer i suppose. i think ill need to think about this and work on it a bit.
one other thing as well before i go………..a more positive thing is that im nearly at the volunteering point now. im all registered as a volunteer, i know what i have to do, i just dont know when i can start doing it. ive sent an email and am awaiting a reply but i really cant wait! its going to be outdoor conservation work which will be awesome and freeing, i just really hope my mental health problems dont get in the way!