Project 84, Hollyoaks (again), and motivation.

i got somewhere a little further with my volunteering today. i got a call back from the person i called yesterday (and called today) and they said i can volunteer with them but i will have to wait until next week to find out exactly when and where, but im ok with that, its a little later than i wanted to start but im in!

ive had some company this morning which was nice. i was hoping to go for a walk but the weather is atrocious, lots of rain. i might find another way to expend some energy today instead. perhaps just doing a little housework, i might even do some horrific vacuuming, even though it scares me, it needs doing. ooo, i could play the keyboard. as you can tell i have a little more motivation today.

i received my final package in the post today, some blue-tooth earphones so that i can walk and do other things without them being pulled out by my movement. oh i do think practically.

ive been thinking about the Hollyoaks story thats upcoming and im a bit more comfortable in watching it now. i think watching something that so poignant to me is important, and for those that ive talked to about it, it might help them as well, if nto on advice and ways to cope, it might give people a bit more of an understanding of what i go through, i suppose it depends how its protrayed, i mean, how do you make the voices in the guys head ‘physical’? do they have a random voice that plays over the other noises? maybe they just let the person explain it themselves, i wont know until i see it. im interested, i know that.

also, check out ‘Project 84’ from CALM and ITV in the UK at the moment. its really important. it focuses on suicide in the UK. 84 men take their own lives in the UK each week, this is 75% of all suicides. they have created figures which stand on the edge of the ITV studios (atop a large tower block), 84 of them. it really is thought invoking. suicide is the largest killer of men under 45. if ive mentioned this already its only because it means a lot to me. putting myself in such a compromising position in the past means i have a little experience of the thoughts going through these peoples minds. its not nice, not nice at all.

Take care………


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