im feeling a little lonely today. ive got the whole wanting a relationship head on. im being silly i know but at least im thinking about something other than self obsessive crying to myself about how my head isnt as good as id like it to be. i think not having much social life in my head makes me think this way, i probably should start by getting some friends really, but as ive said in the past, im not going to go looking for friends ill meet them when its right. i wouldnt mind a bit more of a life right now though.
talking about life, i did get invited to lunch on sunday which is cool. i do go on about having no friends but actually i do have some. i do really only see them once a year, they’re awesome and we have a lot of fun, its just not frequent though. they are my curborough friends. sure i met them through my dad, sure i dont see them a lot, but every time i think about not having friends i do try and remind myself that at least once a year i get to see cool people, and now i get to see a couple of them sooner! i am excited, i havent had a sunday lunch in ages as well.
there is another thing friends would be decent for………enjoying something outside this house in a social aspect. i know im not comfortable in the real world, in fact it scares me, but if i was say, in a cinema with a friend it would be good. i use this example because i want to go to the cinema, i want to go and watch ‘a quiet place’ because it looks awesome. i get scared at scary movies but not as scared as just going somewhere where there are lots of people. i suppose at least in a cinema everyones just watching a film and not focusing on whatever else is around them. however last time i went to the cinema i did have a panic attack because of stuff, stuff i probably shouldnt have been frightened about, none the less it scared me. anyway, i want to go to the cinema, and having friends makes this a bit easier for me.
finally, im going to actually start volunteering in a couple of weeks max. yes its later than i wanted but i know im going to be out there doing stuff, i know ive got something to look forward to as well. im going to be looking after the area in which i live, a bit of nature conservation is going to be happening in my life. i know my foot is definitely in the door as well, this is all good stuff. i could well be volunteering a lot and for a long time as well. there is good stuff happening. maybe ill even make a couple of friends out there in the wilds of nature as well, and no im not talking about animals, other workers.
anyway, im off now, sure im lonely today, but ive got stuff thats going to be happening thatll really impact me in the short and long term, i might even make some friends.