my head has decided to turn sour this evening and im not enjoying it at all. everything thats going on around me is frustrating me, my inner dialogue is playing havoc with my head, and i think im tired because of it all.
i live with someone who is basically the polar opposite of me, yet we’re related. what is most frustrating is that i have to put up with everything bad about them that i really dont like in a person. this is because it is their house, their rules, they can do whatever they want, and because they are so stuck in their ways nothing will change.
this is the main reason i need to move out. i need to get out of here. our differences cause disruption, their inability to understand my illness makes things worse, and their stubborn-ness really makes things bad. dont get me wrong, the person i live with doesnt treat me badly, its just that we are so different it really does affect me, and i have to keep everything that is different……..quiet. i cant be me.
when it comes to inner dialogue it makes things a lot more difficult. my inner dialogue makes me hate this person sometimes, it makes me more frustrated, and i cant explain this to them because theyll never understand. ive tried.
maybe i just need some sleep. i cant sleep now though because ill be up too early tomorrow and id rather just sleep all day tomorrow. i cant be doing with another crappy day, and i thought the first half of the day today went well.
my ringing in my ear is really annoying me as well. this isnt a metaphor, i do have a ringing in my right ear that just wont go away. i thought it was just to do with hay fever or something but its not.
maybe i do go to bed now. maybe i write up a list of things i can do tomorrow and try and get through them. ive always failed at this because i see the list, i get overwhelmed, and then i dont do anything and just wallow. has anyone got any tips to get over this horribleness? i would really like some help.