this is one of the rare times where i believe listening to myself is probably the best thing to do. i rarely listen to myself because i can get caught up in things that arent real. i dont usually make a lot of sense to myself, and ive done things in the past where ive listened to myself and things have gone terribly wrong. this time i dont think things are going to go wrong if i listen to myself.
im now applying for jobs. my plan is to get something going in my life and i think work will help. ive realised ive probably been trying to be living a little comfortably. ive been trying to live an easy life, and perhaps ive been trying to live a little too easily. i realised ive been living completely what i think is really easy, something that isnt going to stress me at all. ive finally decided that a little stress in my life is what everyone goes through. there are problems with my mental health, yes, there are things im not in control of regarding my head, they are things i can mostly live with however. The things that i cant live with come up every now and again but if i have the correct support around me i can get through these problems. i think i can get the correct support around me, i mean im getting some half decent support at the moment. we’ll see where this train leads anyway. i think getting a job is going to help me, it’ll give me things to do, it’ll give me purpose, and it’ll give me some money as well, something i need right now.
as for support………..its amazing how much some quality friend time helps me. i enjoy being around people who enjoy being around me. not having friends around me in the last few months has really hurt me. there are some things i can certainly learn from. i now know who i can see as a friend, i can see what a friend is in future, and i can realise when im being taken advantage of by someone masquerading as a friend as well. hey, i might even make some new friends if i start working. it might give me something to do out of work as well. i could be someone who goes out after work! the dream could be real! Thanks to those who have been helping me recently, especially those who just enjoy being around me. i enjoy being around you too!
this blog is all about me listening to my instincts for the first time in a long time. i think im doing the right thing this time and i have to listen to myself when i say that.