ive been trying to give my motivation a boost today. i think this is something im mainly going to have to do on my own. im just going to try and boost myself with this post. what i will say is that i apologise if some of this rhymes, ive just been listening to a program that was rhyming the whole way through and its really going through my head, so it might happen.
so ive lost 16lbs since i put on loads of weight. im really pleased with this. ive decided to give losing weight a shot. the original plan was to change my lifestyle so that my weight would naturally reduce due to a more active life but because ive been waiting so long for things to happen i feel ive got to actually pursue losing weight through ‘dieting’. i wrote dieting like that because i havent really been dieting, ive really just been eating properly. i comfort eat, as do many others, but ive decided to cut out eating all sorts and just start eating more fruit and veg instead. yeah i binge ate about 5 pears the other day but they are pears, they arent chocolate bars! ive decided that if i just shop correctly and make sure i have no money i wont later go out and buy loads of rubbish food. ive given myself some goals. i was 19st1lbs three weeks ago, i am now 18st8lbs, so i think if i am aim for a three week plan to get to 18st1lb its realistic. i reckon a stone in six weeks is doable for me. my overall goal is to lose just under two more stone by the middle to end of august. this will be the lightest ive been in over 5 years, something i would love to reach.
the reason im writing about losing weight is because its incredibly difficult for someone with mental health problems to focus on things like this. this is a huge challenge for me because its easy for me to lose motivation when looking after myself. ive failed many times in the past and i will worry that im going to fail again. however this time i different. last november i decided losing weight was going to happen, i lost over a stone and then put it all back on again and more because i fell ill. i was miserable, i wasnt sleeping at all, i was in pain, and i just wanted to feel better so i turned to food. ive been gradually losing weight after i got better, but now im aiming to lose again. it does mean ive called on people for help, im working with a family to lose weight together. we have different ways of doing things but the goal is the same, and i will lose………..weight! i rarely have people to do things with, so this is helpful. im having to change my life a lot now, im looking for work, losing weight, and im trying to busy myself as much as possible. i need to improve my own quality of life.
on the note of improving things i did talk to someone about what i wrote yesterday. i was worried about my support network slipping away from me and i wanted to speak to someone about it. i didnt even have to do this because it was bought up, we chatted about it and got some stuff sorted, i think its all alright now. my mental health is sometimes a boss in my life and i cant allow this to happen to often. i cant allow my mind to get caught up in tricks or silly scenarios it wants to make up. my life is my life and i will run it, i just need some help from others, which i think is sorted now.
this blog post has helped me. ive realised that i have goals in life, i realise im heading towards these goals, and im being the boss for the most part. ive got a problem sorted rather than sitting quietly hoping it would fix itself which i hardly ever do. i think my motivation is getting there, i just need a little more i reckon and ill go into this interview on friday all guns blazing and ace it!