I need to bounce back.

So,  i found out today that i didnt get the job that i was interviewed for yesterday. i wasnt sure how the interview went. i know i can think things went well and didnt, i know i dont always read a room well so i was skeptical of how it went. maybe i was too open and honest, maybe i didnt answer the questions right, maybe i just didnt give off a good vibe, i dont know. What i do know is, i need to bounce back. im thinking about it now, im thinking about what i did wrong. im blaming myself for it all. I know its easy for people to say things like ‘you did what you could’ and ‘well done for going’, but at the end of the day i didnt do as well as i could have, i would have the job if i had done as well as i could. do you know what, it is a good thing that i went, but this is failure, ive failed to do something properly. i know its ok to fail, but sometimes we take things hard, i know i do. i actually take a lot on the chin and find it hard to get up after. i need to bounce back otherwise this wont work for me. i need a motivation boost, a distraction. These are the times i wish i had friends close by so that i could go out for a drink, have a chat, ‘relax’ and calm down. alas i dont have this so i will have to just carry on.

Whats worse is that im on my own today, all day. people are busy today and cant hold my attention. i dont mind this but i do wish someone was there to take my mind off things. being alone when things like this happen isnt great. you are left to your own devices. lets face it, my devices dont work properly so its quite difficult for me. im just hoping that being alone doesnt turn into feeling completely alone. feeling completely alone sucks. feeling completely alone is when you can be around the most loving people and still feel like the only person in your life. well, thats how it feels for me. im debating whether to scrap the diet for the day today. i dont really have any bad food in the house which is annoying. i dont really feel like going out today which is bad and good. on the one hand i dont eat crap food today, on the other hand i dont have the motivation to go out and even get the crap food. chances are, if i had the motivation to go out to the shops today i wouldnt want to buy crap food. im stuck basically. oh well.

i know ive got to pick myself up, lets face it, no one who i talk to really does it for me. there are places where i get a bit of a pick me up, one of whom i contacted today hoping for a response. we’ll see. i dont blame them if they dont though. ive contacted other as well, but as i said, they are all busy today so they arent about to help me. i hate needing help in situations like this, it sucks.

anyway, im going to go now. the whole reason im writing on here is to give myself something to do. i mowed the lawn today and thats all. i think tomorrow i wont even have that to do so its going to be difficult. im going to be alone tomorrow as well. hmmmmm…………

bye.

4 thoughts on “I need to bounce back.

  1. You mowed the lawn! That’s great. Sorry that you’re alone today after receiving the news and I know it’s not nice to hear that you did your best. But you did! And that doesn’t mean your best wasn’t enough…Sometimes our best is not what’s best for a certain situation and that means it is not due to any fault of your own.
    Recognize the progress you’ve made that allowed you to even apply to the job and go for the interview where weeks ago that wasn’t even a consideration.

    You could allow yourself one “bad” food for today, we all deserve a treat on such days I think..well that’s what I do anyway.

    It’s okay to feel bummed out about not getting the job but don’t let it take away from your success of getting out there because that’s a HUGE achievement in my opinion. You worked hard and for that I am very proud of you uniqueblogme!

    Like

    1. I just came back to this. I guess you’re right. Maybe my best just wasn’t the right sort of best for the interview. Perhaps another job where I am my best will be better. I’m not sure if that makes sense. It does to me. Thank you.

      Like

      1. I am glad the Pringles brought you some joy..

        What you said makes sense…you just keep giving your best and no matter how things turn out, you should be proud! Hard to do, I know…but your best is the most you can do, you know? So no regrets.

        You’re most welcome

        Like

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