ive been back where i live for about three hours and im already really tense. im so uncomfortable. i was really worried this would happen, i just didnt know it would be so quick.
i need to maintain some sort of calm for the next few hours and i really dont think im going to get it. sometimes being alone is a good things, especially when you’ve been around people for the past few days. i havent got this alone time now im back, and whats worse is that the company isnt good. im trying to distract myself, trying to calm myself, trying to keep my mental health at a fair level. i know tomorrow will be better, just this afternoon is draining on me.
one thing im looking forward to is bed. im looking forward to a bit more comfort within the only space thats my own. i wouldnt call it a safe space for me, it does give me breathing space from the places and company i cant get away from. i dont go to my room a lot because i dont want to overuse it.
im got to keep my head together so i can get up tomorrow and make the call to my volunteer person so i can go out and do some volunteer work. right now its looking near impossible.
i cant believe how quickly ive started struggling, how quickly my life is dominated, not by my own decision, but the life and decision of another. im stuck, imprisoned. i want to escape. please give me an escape.