Switching Brains

Have you ever thought about switching brains with someone for the day?Just to see what you’re missing out on? Or maybe to share an experience you have? Well, I’ve occasionally had conversations around switching brains with people. I think its an interesting subject, a subject that can’t really become a reality, but interesting theory.

Because of my mental health I often want to share my experiences. My psychosis means the way my mind works isn’t like most others. I mean i’m guessing here but i’m doubting my paranoia is probably a lot more frequent than others. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say my hallucinations probably aren’t that common in the people I know. The voices I hear, the noises I hear, and the visual hallucinations are pretty uncommon. In fact i’m pretty sure these things are the reason I got my therapy so early on after speaking out about my condition. I also get delusions about the world. uncontrollable thoughts about my life that aren’t real but I believe are real. sometimes I want to share these experiences so that others can understand some of the hardships I go through, daily.

I often feel like my brain is heavy, weighing my mind down and putting pressure on itself, and it feels really physical. I would love to share this feeling because, from conversations, it’s not something many people go through. The only time I’ve heard something similar is when someone talks about fainting, and even then it’s not on every occasion. I would love people to understand this. Perhaps its something sensory because this feeling is often stronger when i’m hearing a lot of noise, or when I have a strong taste in my mouth. It can even happen when I touch things. I would love to meet someone and have a conversation with them about this feeling, just so I didn’t feel quite so alone.

when it comes to finding out what i’m missing out on, there is a lot I want to know about other people’s minds.

I don’t have a minds eye. I’ve talked about it before. It’s called Aphantasia, and its something I’ve lived with my entire life. So, apparently people can visualize their thoughts, I cannot. I can’t ‘see’ a thought, I have no idea how people do it, but apart from hallucinations, which are rare in others, my eyes are the only things that see anything. I would love to have this imagination where I can visualize a thought! The thought of it excites me and upsets me at the same time.

I feel like its magic,magic that so many people have in their minds,

and I wish I had this magic too.

I also only think in my own voice. Every thought I have is read out to me, in my head, in my own voice. The moment someone stops talking to me I no longer can hear their voice. I cant relay it back in my head, it is only me trying to do their voice in my own head, in my own accent. I don’t know if i’m explaining it well but I’ve never met anyone who lives like this. I’ve always been in awe of impressionists for this exact reason. I had no idea how they did it! Other than this, like i mentioned all my thoughts are in my voice, as a sentence, in the speed that I would talk, and I’ve never known any different, and I feel like i’m missing out. I get sick of my own voice.

I wish my mind had the imagination of even the most normal of humans. I wish I could share the really uncommon traits of my own mind, for more understanding of the unusual way some minds work, and I wish, more than anything, to have a holiday from my own mind.

Brains are mysterious.

Bye.

One thought on “Switching Brains

  1. It’s ok. My mind’s eye goes crazy a lot and spurred psychosis. Switching brains for a day would be fascinating. I want to be normal. Lol. I want to know if it’s worth all the sadness I feel about not being normal!

    Like

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