So, i found out today that i didnt get the job that i was interviewed for yesterday. i wasnt sure how the interview went. i know i can think things went well and didnt, i know i dont always read a room well so i was skeptical of how it went. maybe i was too … Continue reading I need to bounce back.
I try and grab onto all the positivity I see but sometimes it's hard for me to see. I see negativity in everything, I even see negativity that perhaps isn't even there. My mind will go through every single scenario, it will jump to the bad conclusions first, all of them. When I am hit … Continue reading Life at the thud end. I know the pit has a bottom, it’s a long way down.
I am a single soldier that fights ten thousand demons every day of my life. I want help but it seems I don't need it. I will stop fighting when it is no longer my decision to stop. I promise myself that I will never give up on my fight.
I always hope someone has that light bulb moment, it never happens. I suppose it isn't a light bulb moment if you've been told it already though...
today is a bad day so far for me. im having to fill out for ms i really shouldnt be filling out, its stressing me out like mad and its difficult. was hoping someone would help me but no one seemed interested in helping me, oh well. last night i started to feel quite lonely … Continue reading Society stresses me out!
I'm rubbish and sorry.
I'm sitting here thinking about the week ahead, and I'm dreading it. I'm going to be alone pretty much all week which isn't good. I don't know how I'm going to cope with it. I know I'm going to be lonely, and thats always bad. Loneliness pretty much always leads to depression for me. As for … Continue reading Uncle Ness!
im not having a grat day today. im so tired since ive started taking more medication. just trying to get up and motivate myself is really difficult. so im yawning away whilst typing this. my thyoguhts have been racing today as well. ive tried pre occupying my mind with phone calls to people, but i … Continue reading un-……..something.
ive spent the last twenty-four hours at my sister and brother-inlaw's house. I needed to get away sort of. I was going to be alone today if I stayed at home, so I decided to get J to pick me up. pretty much as son as I got in his car I felt better. not … Continue reading No plans right at this moment.
last night was one of my most diffcult ive had in years. with my last bit of energy i managed to call my granny to try and help me. well, i ended up going to hospital in the back of an ambulance. my thoughts were the darkest ive seen since i last attempted suicide. ihad … Continue reading Suicide. thats right, i said it. please take this seriously.