I went to the beach, i’m now going again.

is it a distraction if what is 'distracting' you is actually making you feel worse, just in a different way? i don't know, but i could do without it because its very frustrating. im making as much effort as possible right now to sort shit out, im trying to go out, im trying to communicate … Continue reading I went to the beach, i’m now going again.

CPN, EEG, and a big change (probably)

well, i had a meeting today with a CPN (im pretty sure it stands for community psychiatric nurse) and someone else with him them, someone who was observing. it went alright. they said the same thing all medical people say 'you have a very good understanding of your illness'. i know i do, ive had … Continue reading CPN, EEG, and a big change (probably)

visual snow, aphantasia, opinion and weakness.

the last few days have been incredibly difficult. i imagine people will judge me for it, i imagine people will form some strong opinions against me because of the past few days as well. do you know what, i wont be able to change those opinions and views yet they have 0.1% of the information … Continue reading visual snow, aphantasia, opinion and weakness.

Life at the thud end. I know the pit has a bottom, it’s a long way down.

I try and grab onto all the positivity I see but sometimes it's hard for me to see. I see negativity in everything, I even see negativity that perhaps isn't even there. My mind will go through every single scenario, it will jump to the bad conclusions first, all of them. When I am hit … Continue reading Life at the thud end. I know the pit has a bottom, it’s a long way down.