who am I? This is a question I've been thinking about just recently. It's not a hard question for me to answer.......when I'm asking myself, but what if someone asked me? this is where I struggle, and this is because I don't want to tell people about me. Sure i'll tell people about the standard … Continue reading Why I Don’t Have a Life.
the other day i had some motivation, i had some momentum in making myself feel better. i woke up tuesday morning and it just started draining away very quickly. sometimes when you have mental health issues there is no reason for a downturn. it annoys me when people ask me what caused it. 'what triggered … Continue reading Motivation = gone.
well today was not a walking day. i went to walk but the sea was scarily high and i didnt fancy going for a swim. the sea was literally over the promenade i walk along which is about five metres about the beach, it was high! i took pictures of course, i did take the … Continue reading Doing and not doing……….stuff.
i know ive been doing a lot of these lately and im not sorry! this is really helping me right now, im managing to get things off my chest, im 'talking' out my problems and seeing some sort of improvement through my writing. im starting to get a little bored right now i have been … Continue reading I’m not sorry, AND i like romantic sit-coms!
im off for a couple of days after my training this weekend. im off to see some family in another place other than norfolk. i needed some help to get there but ive managed to get that. i need a few days away to help me recharge after the last few months. yes, i know … Continue reading That man thing i wrote, and i’m seeing the help!
I wrote a poem. I don't do it often because I'm pretty sure I'm rubbish at it. It's called 'games'. Games My head plays games, as it rolls the dice It lands in jail, I have to pay the price. Every move of my mind a chance, Every move I lose more, Pay the pied … Continue reading Games…
is it a distraction if what is 'distracting' you is actually making you feel worse, just in a different way? i don't know, but i could do without it because its very frustrating. im making as much effort as possible right now to sort shit out, im trying to go out, im trying to communicate … Continue reading I went to the beach, i’m now going again.
well, i had a meeting today with a CPN (im pretty sure it stands for community psychiatric nurse) and someone else with him them, someone who was observing. it went alright. they said the same thing all medical people say 'you have a very good understanding of your illness'. i know i do, ive had … Continue reading CPN, EEG, and a big change (probably)
the last few days have been incredibly difficult. i imagine people will judge me for it, i imagine people will form some strong opinions against me because of the past few days as well. do you know what, i wont be able to change those opinions and views yet they have 0.1% of the information … Continue reading visual snow, aphantasia, opinion and weakness.
I try and grab onto all the positivity I see but sometimes it's hard for me to see. I see negativity in everything, I even see negativity that perhaps isn't even there. My mind will go through every single scenario, it will jump to the bad conclusions first, all of them. When I am hit … Continue reading Life at the thud end. I know the pit has a bottom, it’s a long way down.