when a doctor doesnt listen to an issue its quite difficult to make them know what is going to happen to yourself. my skin is getting worse and worse by the day. i went to the doctors a couple of weeks ago to talk about this issue and the doctor prescribed 'stuff' that would clear … Continue reading When a Doctor doesn’t listen…What do i do?
well, i had a meeting today with a CPN (im pretty sure it stands for community psychiatric nurse) and someone else with him them, someone who was observing. it went alright. they said the same thing all medical people say 'you have a very good understanding of your illness'. i know i do, ive had … Continue reading CPN, EEG, and a big change (probably)
I try and grab onto all the positivity I see but sometimes it's hard for me to see. I see negativity in everything, I even see negativity that perhaps isn't even there. My mind will go through every single scenario, it will jump to the bad conclusions first, all of them. When I am hit … Continue reading Life at the thud end. I know the pit has a bottom, it’s a long way down.
I am a single soldier that fights ten thousand demons every day of my life. I want help but it seems I don't need it. I will stop fighting when it is no longer my decision to stop. I promise myself that I will never give up on my fight.
I haven't written on here for quite a while now, what is weird, is that four years ago today i wrote my first blog post on here. i didn't know this until i just logged on and it told me. interesting. there is a good reason i am writing on here right now, my life … Continue reading 90 days in 54 minutes (1)
sorry i havent written on here for a while. ive been busy with my mind. ive been gradually getting sicker and sicker. ive managed to stave off as much of it as possible recently, but its really getting to me now. i started self harming again a couple of weeks ago (ish) and i really … Continue reading The dog farted…………oh, and i’m in turmoil!
I'm sitting here thinking about the week ahead, and I'm dreading it. I'm going to be alone pretty much all week which isn't good. I don't know how I'm going to cope with it. I know I'm going to be lonely, and thats always bad. Loneliness pretty much always leads to depression for me. As for … Continue reading Uncle Ness!
im not having a grat day today. im so tired since ive started taking more medication. just trying to get up and motivate myself is really difficult. so im yawning away whilst typing this. my thyoguhts have been racing today as well. ive tried pre occupying my mind with phone calls to people, but i … Continue reading un-……..something.
ive spent the last twenty-four hours at my sister and brother-inlaw's house. I needed to get away sort of. I was going to be alone today if I stayed at home, so I decided to get J to pick me up. pretty much as son as I got in his car I felt better. not … Continue reading No plans right at this moment.
last night was one of my most diffcult ive had in years. with my last bit of energy i managed to call my granny to try and help me. well, i ended up going to hospital in the back of an ambulance. my thoughts were the darkest ive seen since i last attempted suicide. ihad … Continue reading Suicide. thats right, i said it. please take this seriously.