Let me talk about something that not a lot of people experience much of in their life time. This one's niche for anyone who is trying to relate to a blog post, but hey, it might be an interesting read. i hope it is anyway. I have a feeling this ones going to be really … Continue reading Unadulterated Psychosis.
I'm currently thinking about some stuff that could potentially change my future. These questions could change the darker side of me. They could change the instability in my emotion. They could potentially heal some pretty hefty wounds on my mind. I could possibly be at the beginning of something huge for me. I talked to … Continue reading I don’t believe in fairies.
i tell you what, when you find music you really appreciate things become a lot easier in life, it sings the right things to you. while i was at home i thought id reach for the pen and paper and do some writing. ive never written while in this house though, we'll see how it … Continue reading Future love, future thoughts.
the last few days have been incredibly difficult. i imagine people will judge me for it, i imagine people will form some strong opinions against me because of the past few days as well. do you know what, i wont be able to change those opinions and views yet they have 0.1% of the information … Continue reading visual snow, aphantasia, opinion and weakness.
I try and grab onto all the positivity I see but sometimes it's hard for me to see. I see negativity in everything, I even see negativity that perhaps isn't even there. My mind will go through every single scenario, it will jump to the bad conclusions first, all of them. When I am hit … Continue reading Life at the thud end. I know the pit has a bottom, it’s a long way down.
last night was one of my most diffcult ive had in years. with my last bit of energy i managed to call my granny to try and help me. well, i ended up going to hospital in the back of an ambulance. my thoughts were the darkest ive seen since i last attempted suicide. ihad … Continue reading Suicide. thats right, i said it. please take this seriously.
what are my worries at the moment? my biggest worry (and sorry if you read this) is that my heavily pregnant sister is going to have a still born child. i dont know why, im just worried its going to happen. i can see more heartache from this pregnancy than there has been. i did … Continue reading Today’s problems.
im tired. tired, and tired of a lot of things to do with my mind. so, ive been trying to keep myself busy by cooking. i made flapjacks, cider and dinner today. i also made a lovely soup. butternutsquash and lime soup to be precise. however, now ive run out of energy. my mind isnt … Continue reading Ladies, food, and independent dependency.
i did something the other day that i thought i could never do. no, i did not lick my elbow! it all started on saturday morning. i was going to a tournament for a game i play called Magic, the gathering. everyone there was on their A game, it was intense, and serious stuff. in … Continue reading Panic attacks?! Pfft, they can do one!
Right, so i was having quite a horrible conversation today. horrible because today i confirmed something i never wanted to confirm. i've talked about it in the past to a couple of people and i still thought there was some certainty in the opposite of what i was talking about. I can't have children. im … Continue reading no kids, no money, no hope?