well, i had a meeting today with a CPN (im pretty sure it stands for community psychiatric nurse) and someone else with him them, someone who was observing. it went alright. they said the same thing all medical people say 'you have a very good understanding of your illness'. i know i do, ive had … Continue reading CPN, EEG, and a big change (probably)
I try and grab onto all the positivity I see but sometimes it's hard for me to see. I see negativity in everything, I even see negativity that perhaps isn't even there. My mind will go through every single scenario, it will jump to the bad conclusions first, all of them. When I am hit … Continue reading Life at the thud end. I know the pit has a bottom, it’s a long way down.
ive actually written quite a lot today, its probably nothing anyone will ever see. it all started off because i needed to distract myself so i gave myself something to focus on. so in three hours i wrote about 7000 words. im not sure how much that is when you look at it physically, let … Continue reading ‘Humans’
so my head is being very annoying today. its starting to delve even deeper into the constant thoughts im having. i try to fight all of them off but i cant because of whats going on. 'how widespread is this?' 'who knows?' 'am i safe anywhere anymore?'. these are ones im fighting with at the … Continue reading A box of coffee chocolates.
................................so, where am i? well, i still have rash problems now (just incredibly dry skin, and a bit of irritation) but it also skips past a lot of other problems if i stopped with this. in november i decided to keep my mental health problems to myself (which obviously meant everyone thought i was fine) … Continue reading 90 days in 54 minutes (2)
I haven't written on here for quite a while now, what is weird, is that four years ago today i wrote my first blog post on here. i didn't know this until i just logged on and it told me. interesting. there is a good reason i am writing on here right now, my life … Continue reading 90 days in 54 minutes (1)
so, ive writtten something, but before i write it on here i want to just say something first. i find ignorance the biggest stigma attached to mental health and it just makes me feel 110% worse when i come across it, and believe it or not, that is every single day of my life. this … Continue reading i said i might be back.
sorry i havent written on here for a while. ive been busy with my mind. ive been gradually getting sicker and sicker. ive managed to stave off as much of it as possible recently, but its really getting to me now. i started self harming again a couple of weeks ago (ish) and i really … Continue reading The dog farted…………oh, and i’m in turmoil!
im sitting here watching the vicar of dibley, and im thinking. my life is empty. i mean, there is stuff in my life. you know what...........i'll start again. i need some closeness in my life! i dont feel close to anyone or anything. i feel distant from everything. i want some closeness in my life. … Continue reading messed the beginning up!
im just sitting here, in the middle of the night now. i do this fairly often. im no night owl, or a morning person, just an insomniac from time to time. i remember once i stayed awake pretty much the whole time for 2 weeks. i literally has barely any sleep, we're talking.......5 hours in … Continue reading BIG FUCKING RANT!!!